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Unpopular Opinion: Adele Sucks

***This is a satire post. I do not actually enjoy bashing celebrities or anyone for that matter.***

Amidst all of the Adele praising and worshiping, I had a revelation.

Adele kind of sucks.

I’m not talking about her voice or her music, because those are both lovely. She has the voice of a British angel that is only lifted up by wonderfully powerful melodies. But that is exactly why we are unable to see how terrible of a person she actually is. We are blinded by the music, her sorrow-filled and quivering voice telling of the familiar desperation of love with each note she hits in her latest single ‘Hello.’

But if you listen to the words of the song and try to tune out the melodic disguises she drapes them in, you will learn that Adele is selfish, insensitive, and a bit passive aggressive.

When the song starts, those sobering piano keys lead the unassuming listener to think that Adele has, once again, gotten her heart broken. I mean, given her track record of chart-topping heartbreak songs, like ‘Someone Like You’ and ‘Set Fire To The Rains,’ it isn’t hard to believe that the song ‘Hello’ is really about her traveling down Memory Lane and wanting to make peace with an ex who wronged her for closure, which isn’t entirely off. She does seem to be seeking closure, but not the kind of closure that heals a wound inflicted by someone else. She’s seeking the kind of closure that comes when you’re ‘sorry for everything that I’ve done.’ The kind of closure needed to feel better about yourself after you have broken someone’s heart. Shame on you, Adele.

We the listener don’t know what Adele has done to break this dude’s heart, but whatever it was must have been bad enough to make her feel the need to call him at least 1,000 times to apologize.

When he doesn’t pick up all 1,000 or more times, she assumes that either:

  1. He isn’t home.
  2. He isn’t torn up about the issue AKA doesn’t care about the fact that she wants to apologize for breaking his heart. Cue passive aggressiveness.

We all know the truth, though: this dude was totally (and understandably) screening her calls—which, by the way, does not mean call 199 more times. Take a hint, Adele.

Call me crazy, but I would assume that the dude might be trying to move on with his life, as one does after having one’s heart broken. Or maybe he is still healing and just isn’t too concerned about providing closure to the woman who hurt him by giving her the OK to apologize. No need to get all snarky about it, Adele, by calling him out.

We get it, she’s sorry. But on top of being sorry, she’s also pretty self-centered and insulting. When Adele finally gets him on the phone (or maybe his voicemail), she throws tiny, selfish jabs, talking about herself and asking if he is still living in his old town, which, according to her, is where nothing ever happens. But I guess that’s probably everywhere compared to sunny California where she’s blowing his phone up nonstop from.

Maybe she is just lonely or turning over a new leaf. When we’re lonely or in a transitional phase in our lives, sometimes we reach out to an old flame, hoping to get another chance or right a wrong. But there’s a way to do it, Adele. You must proceed cautiously and with sensitivity when it comes to making amends with exes, otherwise you risk coming off like a wacko ex (calling approximately 1,000 times) or a tool (getting all passive aggressive when he didn’t pick up or return her approximate 1,000 calls. I think she achieved both in this case. Being in a forgiving mood does not justify that behavior. I think I prefer the Adele who got her heart broken and acted like a crazy ex over the Adele who broke a heart and still reacted like a crazy ex. Just saying.

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A spark of ambition in a world too content

Everybody has a dream–something they aspire to achieve–whether it’s to travel the world before the age of 40 or to write a novel.

While we all have this in common, only a handful of us ever make these dreams of ours a reality. We put effort into painting the pictures in our heads, but when it comes down to putting in the actual effort, the real effort, most of us take a step back. Maybe we’re afraid that if we do make our dream happen, it won’t live up to what it was in our heads.

Maybe we are just afraid to fail. Maybe that fear alone is enough to keep us content looking at that pretty picture that hangs only in your head.

I’m guilty of that.

Coulda, shoulda, woulda. That’s my mentality most of the time. It’s so easy to think that way when most of the people around me have a similar mentality. We sit around talking about what we will one day do with our lives, but we don’t make strides toward making those things happen.

This could (and would) be misconstrued as the norm–something everyone in the world feels/thinks/does, too– except it’s not, and I’m reminded of that when I meet inspiring people or reconnect with some of my overly ambitious friends.

A particularly driven friend of mine I’ve known since 6th grade. She works in retail, as well as a dancer, and does photography, choreography, video directing/producing on the side. She is the most ambitious person I know. She constantly wants to better herself and continue improving and learning.

Having people in my life like that provides me with little reminders that I too can make my dreams happen. Everyone can. We just need to be willing to go for it! We shouldn’t just settle for ‘content.’ We should push ourselves to attain what we really want.

First step? Declaring what you really want.

I’m starting small but here are the things I will cross off my fairly simple yet personally daunting mental to-do list:

  • Pick a direction for this blog and stick with it
  • Start a podcast
  • Start working on story ideas

 

 

 

 

 

Being a Woman in 2015: This is NOT a Post About Feminism

Is it me or has the word ‘feminist’ gotten a bad rep recently?

I don’t want that to come off the wrong way; I’m a woman so of course I want equal everything, too.

It just seems like the word ‘feminist’ has lost its meaning , and the image of the feminist is skewed.

According to Webster’s, ‘Feminism’ is:

  1. the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes
  2. organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

But if you ask the Internet what a feminist is, a majority of the responses you’d get (mostly from men, I’m sure) would be “ugly women who like to bitch and complain about men.’

The truth is that, as women, we have something to complain about.

I often come across men who make my skin crawl and make me wonder why I share the same air as them.

I’ve been cat called. I’ve been whistled at. I’ve been approached in public. Just for being a woman who happens to be walking alone.

I’ve been scared.

Scared to say how I really feel in those moments, which is usually ‘leave the fuck alone.’

But instead of saying that, I usually don’t say anything because if I do, who knows that will happen?

Too often women are made out to be bitches just because we do not want to encourage men’s ‘flirty’ behavior i.e. them telling us to smile more, or even going so far as to cat call or whistle at us from a moving car. It’s not welcomed.  Yet, even though this seems like an obviously trivial concept to grasp, women are living in fear that these men, who can’t handle the fact that a woman has an opinion to express that (GOD FORBID) could be about the way we are treated by them, will retaliate.

I stumbled across this awesome post today on Medium.com written by a woman who took to Twitter with a selfie that said ‘FUCK YOU IF YOU TELL A WOMAN TO SMILE’ after being approached by some creep, only to be harassed and called awful names by a bunch of trolls. Definitely check it out here. It’s powerful stuff.

It really is unfair that we live in a world like this, where women have to watch what they say or do, or don’t say and don’t do, because even when we do nothing, like sit by ourselves and mind our own business, we are bitches.

3 Reasons Why Halloween is the Most Stressful Holiday

When it comes to the most stressful holidays, most people would say Christmas and Thanksgiving are the top – if not only – two.

People are always rushing and angry from nightmare traveling of waiting hours at the airport just to be squeezed into a plane bursting with other angry travelers, or sitting in hours of traffic. And then you have the people who are preparing to host holidays at their homes. They pull their hair out over coordinating, cleaning, cooking, and accommodating.

While Christmas and Thanksgiving are without a doubt stressful, I have to say that Halloween, while not an official holiday, is the most stressful.

Picking the Outfit

On no other holiday does it matter more what you wear than on Halloween. The premise of the holiday is to dress up and go from door to door asking for candy. As an adult, the same holds true. What you wear on Halloween is important.

Most women conceive their costume idea months in advance. Coming up with an outfit idea can be particularly stressful because a good costume should be unique, hard to repeat or replicate, and stand out on some level.

Prepping

Once the costume has been decided, it is time to start brainstorming how to put the outfit together (unless you are being something that comes with all of the pieces and accessories in a plastic bag at the costume store).

A few years ago, I was sexy Abraham Lincoln for Halloween (I’m weird, I know). You’re not going to find that outfit at the Halloween store so I had to first figure out the look I was going for, what I need to create the look, and then hit a few different store. Outfits like this should not be left to the last minute.

Location

I find this part to be the most stressful because where you choose to celebrate Halloween could potentially make or break your night and make all of the other stresses you dealt with to get to this point a waste!

If the music isn’t right, or the drinks are too expensive, or if the place is just way too crowded to even move, the night has the potential to be dampened a bit. It’s important to find a place where you can have fun for a while, unless you plan to hop around to a few different places.

 

Beginning of Fall- Cinnamon Spice Lip Balm

You know what’s better than the taste of pumpkin-spice-everything?

The smell of pumpkin-spice everything.

While I’m not a huge fan of pumpkin spice lattes (please don’t hit me!), I do share the love of Fall-flavored things, like pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin cookies, and pumpkin beers. Something about those flavors that only come from ground spices like cinnamon and clove.

Who could resist the scent of cinnamon and nutmeg spices swirled together with warm pumpkin that lets us know that Fall has arrived?

Well, PSL lovers, listen up because I found a new way to incorporate the pumpkin-y spicy flavor into your life: lip balm.

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I’ve been a very DIY mood lately; it’s been super motivating! So I thought ‘what can I make that I know I’d use all the time?’

Well since I am a proud lip balm addict, I took to Pinterest in search of a DIY lip balm recipe. But with Fall sweeping in fast, I realized that I needed a pumpkin spice lip balm in my life.

What you need:

10 Lip Balm Tubes

1 tbsp Beewax

2 tbsp Coconut Oil

8 drops Cinnamon and Clove Essential Oils

1/8 tsp Pumpkin Spice Mix

Using a double boiler, heat the beeswax and coconut oil on the stove until it is completely melted.

Quickly squirt your Essential Oils and drop your Pumpkin Spice Mix in there and mix, mix, mix.

Get your tubes ready and, using a funnel, slowly pour in your waxy mixture.

Set aside and let cool until they harden.

Now comes the fun part- with your tube blank and white, you’re free to create a cool, personalized label. I don’t have any labels at the moment, but I still have an awesome time making these! They are super easy and rewarding to make!

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Digital Cameras vs Smartphones

Do you ever see someone sporting around a huge, fancy camera and think to yourself “yeah cool, but can you send text messages from it?”

Remember when cellphones made phone calls and cameras took pictures? When people brought the good ol’ point-and-shoot cameras to parties, weddings, BBQs, etc and Ashton Kutcher was advertising Nikon commercials.

Speaking from personal experience, I’d say the official cell phone/digital camera merger happened in 2008, or at least that’s when I migrated to a fully functional smartphone and the last time I touched my digital camera. But as much as I rely on my smartphone to do, well, everything, I can’t help but wish it was less convenient.

Growing up, I was always the one taking pictures on my digital camera. Every holiday, you would find me snapping shots of my family, the food, trying to capture the atmosphere. Now during the holidays, everyone is hovering their phones over their meals and sticking them in people’s faces so they can quickly upload and share how #blessed they are.

The age of digital camera was a good one. Photos were raw, more candid, with no filters to scroll through, no clever caption to think up, and no pressure to even share the photo on social media at that very second. Selfies didn’t have such a negative stigma to them either, despite some front-facing cameras popping up.

One of the things I loved the most about digital cameras was that I always printed the pictures I took. I’d take a trip to the CVS, plug my camera’s chip into the printing machine and a few minutes later, I’d have glossy prints of my memories that I could hang up on my wall, put in a frame, or in a photo album.

At events, I’m still the one who takes pictures of everything, but it’s always on my phone and I hardly print anymore. I’m changing that, though!

I’m going to start printing photos again. I’ve always loved being surrounded by pictures of people. Every photo has a story.

 

9 Reasons Why Phoebe was the best ‘Friend’

Joey, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe– everyone has a favorite friend from the always-awesome ’90s TV show “Friends.”

While each character is hilarious and unique in his or her own way, Phoebe is the weird, quirky, and just a bit ditsy (which we love).

Whether you love Ross for his sulky “hi”, Monica for her OCD, for Joey for his passion for sandwiches, you have to give it to Phoebe for always being the best friend.

She’s a good mediator

Phoebe is very drama-free, but is always willing to step in as mediator from a neutral when her friends have disagreements. She is not afraid to tell it like it is for the sake of being honest and true to her friends.

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She’s selfless

I mean, come on. She carried her brother’s babies! Anyone who does that for her brother who is in love with a woman too old to conceive is odd, but pretty sweet.

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She tells the truth

Whether it was with her friends, family, or random kids, Phoebe never held back from telling the truth, and everyone appreciated that about her. Especially the random kids who learned a little lesson in food preparation from Phoebe.

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She expresses herself through music

Using her handy guitar, Phoebe wrotes songs about every day things that inspire her. Whether it’s about the colors in her bedroom, sticky shoes, or a smelly cat, you better believe Phoebe was going to create a catchy tune about it.

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She knows how to be one of the guys

Never being the girly girl on the TV show, Phoebe fits in super well with the girls and the guys. She knew how to dress up when the occasion called for it, but most importantly, she knew how to bro out.

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She’s tough

Teenage Phoebe was homeless so she had to learn how to defend herself. There are many episodes in which Phoebe drops a hint toward a crazy story that took place when she was living on the streets. She doesn’t take crap from anyone, and she keeps things interesting, to say the least.

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She’s spiritual

Phoebe is very supersticious and believes in spirits. Remember when she finds a lost cat on the street and thinks it’s her mom? Or old lady dies on her massage table and Phoebe thinks the woman’s spirit is inside of her? Crazy or not, Phoebe’s keen sense in pretty valuable to the friend group. Plus, you need someone to cleanse your ora every once and a while.

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She’s a teacher

Phoebe was never too busy for her friends. She always had time to teach them things, even when they want to play guitar and don’t follow Phoebe’s instructions…

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She always put her friends first

Phoebe was a big supporter of “bros before hoes.” She hardly ever put a love interest or valuables before her friends. She lived the further out of all of the friends, but she was always there at the apartment, smile on her face, guitar in hand, saying something weird and funny. She knows what’s important in life: friends. And that’s why Phoebe is the best friend.

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